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Impropr Grammr

They were alone, he and she.
Backs against the world,
Faces towards the heavens:
Not a human soul nearby.
Yet wildlife lingers;
A bluepurplesilver dragonfly flutters past their feet;
Greenyelloworangered leaves of trees
Stencil dark, geometric shadows onto their bodies.
Painstakingly perfect - like a cookie cutter.

They were alone, he and she.
Left alone to gaze at the clouds:
Swirls, curlicues, swoops, dots.
Synergy, these nonsensical shapes and lines form:
A German Shepard's head; a compressed hamburger; a sailboat;
So they can sail to the tip of the world,
To the edge of the sea.
Through rough terrain, above ludicrous plains, under pulchritudinous waterfalls.
Traverse the Orient, explore the exotic forests of South America.
Egyptspainitalyfranceicelandantarcticarussiahaitijupiter.
Anywhere and everywhere imaginable.

They were alone, he and she.
Forty-degrees and nowhere to go.
Warmth radiates from their tangled bodies,
Like a candle effulgently lit in the wind.
The atmosphere slowly creeps down,
Bestowing upon them abundant water droplets.
And among these barely tangible globular masses,
A heart falls from the sky.
Their bodies break its fall.
We broke a heart's fall. he says.
Or did we save a heart from breaking? she responds.
Petite, composed of cloth, criss-crossed:
Red and white lines wrap around it.
It's safe now, immersed within them.

They were alone, he and she.
Their love unsurpassed,
Two souls entwine.




______________________________
a i m e e :: December 26, 2002
"Precisely the least, the softest, lightest, a lizard's rustle, a breath, a flash, a moment - a little makes the way of the best happiness."

* a i m e e
_________________________________
Photo: !@#$%blinded%$#@!...
Inspiration: him.
Add a Comment:
 
:icongruneeitelkeit:
gruneEITELKEIT Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2004
I love this piece amy =O)
It's inspiring. I wish you'd still write some more. Don't let your talent go to waste there
Reply
:iconthesquab:
TheSquab Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2004
Amazing job..great imagery, its like I was right there~ Fantastic work
Reply
:iconshaunathanblaze:
shaunathanblaze Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2004
you are amazing
you have one of the best ablities for poem structure of any writer i have seen

bravo

your expression is absolutely breathe taking


wow

-blaze...
Reply
:iconfernandorossi:
fernandorossi Featured By Owner May 3, 2003
This is an Amazing work no words :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconenvygrrl:
envygrrl Featured By Owner May 2, 2003
Sitting here wondering if my comment will get lost amongst this ocean, but. I LOVE this part:

We broke a heart's fall. he says.
Or did we save a heart from breaking? she responds.


Awesome. Makes the poem for me.
Reply
:iconnfok3:
nfok3 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2003
awesome poem. The words work well together, even though there were some er.. bumps in the flow. Keep up the good work.
Reply
:iconcinnethologik:
cinnethologik Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2003  Professional Filmographer
uou!!!! amazing!!! Worship Worship Worship
;) (Wink)
Reply
:iconcuperix:
cuperix Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2003
and i had no clue what pulchritudinous means neither hehe .. nice writing here .. very... quiet and calm yet, expressive. beutiful diction and form as well .. nice 1! =P (Razz)
Reply
:iconthesedoors:
thesedoors Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2003
I knew it...I knew it - that's all I can say...
"Through rough terrain, above ludicrous plains, under pulchritudinous waterfalls.
Traverse the Orient, explore the exotic forests of South America.
Egyptspainitalyfranceicelandantarcticarussiahaitijupiter."
Wonderfully great!!! The mesh of phrases slames into one another - a symphony of wreaking words... Two thumbs up and a pat on the back!!
Take care!
-Darrell
Reply
:iconph-enix:
ph-enix Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2003
dang - y'all gots sum rilly big werds in thar!! Bucktooth
i'm generally not too big on poetry, but i read this because i liked the picture (and the title) so much. i was impressed. you've got some great imagery that goes along with your cover pic really well. i like the sweeping scope of this piece. almost made me remember what it was like to be in love...
*sigh*
Reply
:iconspacelotus:
spacelotus Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2003
Love it's so beautiful :D (Big Grin) :D (Big Grin)
what the hell... FAV
Hug
Reply
:icondeficiency:
deficiency Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2003   Digital Artist
I am always the last to comment. Urgh, I suck. You know that. Everyone knows that. I have forgotten about devART and today, I just remembered it. How nice that I've got hundreds of things to draw my attention at work. Yum, I am having fun feeding myself with your poems on devART. Although that you've already posted on your blog, I feel it different when you posted on devART, I heart you Aimee. I like this a lot. And especially, like I said before, the heart fall part is just SOOO cute. Others got my tought flew up the air, imagining the sweet heavenful moments described n this poem.

Damn, I spoke tooo much. I'm on to your next now?
Reply
:iconangeljello22:
angeljello22 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2003
wow, lots of comments, prolly all been said already but wow this is really nicely done, the form n flow of ur writin is very unique n i like the meshing of certain words (colors, places) as well as the repetition, cant say i have a qualm w/it great work take care n God bless
Reply
:icondiluted-e:
diluted-e Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2003
Great work, its really great that you got back into writing because reading each of your poems always ends with a satisfying thump at the back of my throat... though thumps at the back of your throat Generally aren't things to be satisfied with, i like this a lot.. my only grievance is towards the end it started to seem like a vocabulary fest rather then the pure feeling I got from the beginning, but well... that comment may just be judged on the fact that I have the vocabullary of a four year old...

One more time and in summary... Great Job, a very satisfying read on a topic thats usually ridden with phrases cliche to go through you managed to rise above
Reply
:iconkingvitamin:
kingvitamin Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2003
This was a thrilling read, up until the end. You've established such an original, fresh mood to the entire piece... why end with a cliche? But damn, i can't stress enough how much I like so much of this.
Reply
:iconraphi-kun:
raphi-kun Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2003
the words are fitting perfectly to the picture! your composition of words is very nice and with much expression Nod
Reply
:iconheyjupiter:
heyjupiter Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2003
Aimée... I am speechless and utterly amazed!

Utterly gorgeous and vivid imagery. You manage to capture that breathlessness and electricity of being in love so perfectly. Quite a beautiful and amazing poem, sweetie. Hug

+Fav, no doubt about it :) (Smile) Hope to see more of your writting soon...!
Reply
:iconmimle:
mimle Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2003
i can't find a single thing you could have done better. this is great.
Reply
:iconindolentinfidel:
indolentinfidel Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003
Great imagery... lovely poem all around. =) (Smile)
Reply
:iconsaladin:
saladin Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2003
Oh that is beautiful. Your words are like silk running across my mind. And the images? Vivid, delicate...perfect. I love this to pieces :) (Smile)

Hug
Reply
:icondrippingblood:
drippingblood Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2002
Heart
Reply
:icongunslinger132:
gunslinger132 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2002   Photographer
Not many poems touch my heart but this one did I think because I have always wanted someone who would share my thoughts and want to see all the beautiful things this world has to offer. A great poem you have such a wonderful mind Aimee nice you share it with all of us.
Reply
:iconbelljar876:
belljar876 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2002   Writer
Let me just start with imagery. I cant even begin to explain. Its like i was there sitting next to my boyfriend or something.
"Synergy, these nonsensical shapes and lines form:
A German Shepard's head; a compressed hamburger; a sailboat;"
Those lines just seemed to stick out...I guess its just that ive never seen a poem mentioning a german shepard and a hamburger in the same line...

"A bluepurplesilver dragonfly flutters past their feet;
Greenyelloworangered leaves of trees
Stencil dark, geometric shadows onto their bodies" So good. So good.

the poem is just so powerful. rhythm. Its creative. So much imagery. It encompasses EVERY aspect of an publishable poem. Bravo.
Reply
:iconsimkin13:
simkin13 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2002
very nice..... I like.
Reply
:iconyatu:
yatu Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2002
my reaction to the poem: Jawdrop i flew away as i read it, and it still echoes in my head. my mind wanders Egyptspainitalyfranceicelandantarcticarussiahaitijupiter, and had enough fun to dream of it this night! i'm in awe, i love it when you write Aimée !!
Reply
:iconkrin:
krin Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2002   Interface Designer
marry me.
Reply
:iconchinpau:
chinpau Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2002
Super image choice and great writing :) (Smile)

C
Reply
:iconmadman669:
madman669 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002   Writer
Impressive as always. Love your vocabulary.
Reply
:iconcyclonex:
cyclonex Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
Nice... hummm..very nice.... I'm even getting nasty thoughts of doing it in the Field..Just seems the right thing to do..*L*

the last Quote is right on... "Two souls entwine"
Reply
:iconignite:
ignite Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002  Professional Artist
i agree with echosofsilence. the poem seemed very fantasy-like and surreal. full of beauty. you're going on my devwatch.
Reply
:icondonvito:
donvito Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
I really like it :D (Big Grin) ...
Reply
:iconeternalwaves:
eternalwaves Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002  Hobbyist General Artist
A very dreamlike, surreal atmosphere. It sounds as if it was written in fantasy. Or from the perspective of in-between.

"Forty-degrees and nowhere to go" - for some reason I love that line.
Reply
:iconjero1:
jero1 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
you are the goddess of imagery :) (Smile)

Heart
Reply
:iconlace:
lace Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
lovely :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconmysticx:
mysticx Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002   Digital Artist
Cool =]
Reply
:iconvortexrage:
vortexrage Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
pulchritudinous got me wondering too... the rest thought is just gr8, nice work
Reply
:iconspane:
spane Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
No 2Pac?
Reply
:iconbertimus:
bertimus Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
I like. Yes.
Reply
:iconduo-maxwell:
duo-maxwell Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2002
very cool Aimee. another great poem from you as usual!
keep up the great work Aww
Reply
:iconfoshizzle383:
foshizzle383 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2002
awesome, although i have no clue what pulchritudinous means :o (Eek)
Reply
:icon3nflux:
3nflux Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2002
wow. all i can say
Reply
:iconmovie-wizard:
movie-wizard Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2002   Photographer
I love you.
Reply
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